All I Need to Know About Life I Learned from Drinking Coffee
* I am productive! I am productive! I am productive!
* Better latte than never.
* A day without coffee is like night…you sleep through it.
* We all have to do the daily grind.
* Espresso yourself.
* Automatic drip defines most people’s personalities.
* Stand your grounds.
* If the spoon doesn’t dissolve, it isn’t coffee.
* I love the caffeine; it’s the rich taste I could do without.
* Don’t stop till you’re shaking.
* Impatience is a virtue.
* Take two cups and call me in the middle of the night.
* Who needs sleep when you’ve got coffee?
* There’s no rest for the caffeinated.
* Decaf is for sissies.
* Man cannot live by coffee alone – donuts are pretty essential too.
* There is no such thing as a free refill.
* It’s okay to be full of beans sometimes.
~ Author Unknown
“If it ain’t caffeinated, it ain’t coffee!”
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old helper early one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. And, when she got to the bottom, to her utter amazement there were three of little green army men in her cup. Puzzled, she asked “Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson answered “Grandma, you know how it says on TV,
“The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.”
12 Signs You’re A Real Coffee Addict
1. You keep artificial sweetener in small dimes bags for convenience, officer.
2. You can’t function throughout the day unless you get your morning fix.
3. You have etched clues to your addiction into the walls of your social networks.
4. A fact that has caused your friends to no longer follow you down this road. (Like, we get it, #caffeine is life. Real original.)
5. You need it to party, with full knowledge that it will keep you up all night.
6. You learned the difference between a coffee mug and robbing a barista at gun point the hard way, allegedly.
7. You’ve tried quitting before and that was the worst 2 hours of your life.
8. People don’t give you money on the streets because they know you’re going to spend it at Starbucks.
9. Your breath reeks from it and you’re covered with stains.
10. You can only get that really good shit from Colombia.
11. You walk around hooked up to an IV filled with the stuff.
12. It wakes you up! And wouldn’t ya know it, you don’t want the right to remain silent. That’s like irony I think.
