Puppy Manners / Quotes
| If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. | |
| – Will Rogers | |
| Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. | |
| – Sigmund Freud | |
| Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog. | |
| – Franklin P. Jones | |
| If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. | |
| – Unknown | |
| I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. | |
| – Penny Ward Moser | |
| No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. | |
| – Fran Lebowitz | |
| I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. | |
| – Rita Rudner | |
| My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money. | |
| – Joe Weinstein | |
| There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. | |
| – Ben Williams | |
| The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. | |
| – Andy Rooney | |
| Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we are the greatest hunters on earth! | |
| -Anne Tyler | |
| If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. | |
| – James Thurber | |
| Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories! | |
| – Dr. Tony Maklin | |
| Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. | |
| – Dave Barry | |
| Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. | |
| – Groucho Marx | |
| Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog? | |
| – Unknown | |
| You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. | |
| – Nora Ephron | |
| Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. | |
| – Ann Landers | |
| In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. | |
| – Dereke Bruce | |
| Cat’s Motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it. | |
| – Unknown | |
| No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. | |
| – Christopher Morley | |
| I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it. | |
| – Abraham Lincoln | |
| Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies. | |
| – Gene Hill | |
| Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant. | |
| – Unknown | |
| Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window! | |
| – Steve Bluestone | |
| The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, “How do you like that? Pay toilets!” | |
| – Dave Starr | |
| If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. | |
| – Mark Twain | |
| I have a great dog. She’s half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she’ll bring it back to me. | |
| – Jimi Celeste | |
| Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks. | |
| – Phillis Diller | |
| When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. | |
| – Erma Bombeck | |
| He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas. | |
| – Ben Franklin | |
| I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive. There was a sign out front: “No Dogs Allowed.” | |
| – Phil Foster | |
| They say the dog is man’s best friend. I don’t believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered? | |
| – Larry Reeb | |
| A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. | |
| – Josh Billings | |
| If dogs could talk, perhaps we’d find it just as hard to get along with them as we do people. | |
| – Karel Capek 1890-1938 Czech Journalist | |
| The more I see of men the more I like dogs. | |
| – Madame de Stael 1766-1817 French social leader | |
| When a man’s dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama. | |
| – Mark Twain. | |
| The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. | |
| – Margot Kaufman, American writer | |
| My little dog — a heartbeat at my feet. | |
| – Edith Wharton. | |
| If a dog’s prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky. | |
| – Old Proverb | |
| A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who therefore is always available to love and be loved. | |
| – Aaron Katcher, American Educator and Psychiatrist | |
| Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend. | |
| – Corey Ford, American writer | |
| Fifth Avenue is too expensive for anyone but dogs. | |
| – Mel Finkelstein, Daily News | |
| My dog can bark like a Congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings. | |
| – Gerold Solomon, US Congressman | |
| Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative. | |
| – Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer | |
| Being patted is what it is all about. | |
| – Roger Caras. | |
| Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on. | |
| – Unknown | |
| They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell. | |
| – Emily Dickenson | |
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Copyright © 2015 – IcqGreetings4U
Copyright © 2015 – IcqGreetings4U