The PErfect MAn

After all these years of searching
what I have been looking for
Is a man who knows his place
or otherwise it’s war.

A man who will not interrupt
who’ll let me have my say
And when the time comes round to shop
he won’t go astray.

He never minds how much I spend
he puts no limits on
The credit cards at his expense,
oh how can I go wrong?

When friends drop in for a chat
he’ll go make the tea
Waiting on us hand and foot,
he does all this for me!

And when the bills are coming in
no matter what the cost
He understands my luxuries
without them I’d be lost.

Even when I am on the phone
calling long distance
It never matters, he does not complain,
just worships my existence.

And then when I start to spread my thighs
and put on a little weight
He’ll still love me even though
I may look a state!

I’ll never have to worry about male wandering eyes
Because they will always be for me,
what, is that such a surprise?

Oh, what are you looking at?
I know you’re envious,
I’m sorry but I found him first
I really have been blest!

Take your eyes off his pecks
this is my perfect man!
As my friend I thought somehow
that you would understand.

Now don’t you look at me like that
it isn’t that crazy;
Just think, one wouldn’t have to worry ’bout
a man who is lazy.

He will be the perfect hubby
I know this love will last,
And even when things are out of place
he will never fuss.

So what do you think, Myrtle
is it meant to be?
A marriage made in heaven
between this man and me.

© Christina
1st April, 2004